The Fool Page 6

  In the time that we have been together, I have found myself wanting to always be around him. Smiling to myself whenever I hear his voice. It has been a long time since a smile spread across my face and I owe it all to Xander.

  Walking up to the woman sitting behind the desk, I toss my hair over my shoulder and put on my best smile. The older woman returns the smile in kind.

  “Hi there, Miss…” I glance at her name badge. “Beverly. I was written by a Mr. Harris about a student of his that needed some cheering up. Is there a way that I can visit him? I know there’s usually a string of permissions needed, but we only had a small window and wanted to try and see if we could get in to see him.”

  “I’m sorry, ma’am. I don’t believe I know who you are. And who is we? The name of who you wish to visit?”

  “Oh, please forgive me. My name is Angel Michaels and I…”

  Beverly’s mouth falls open, and her hands cover a tiny shriek. “I absolutely love your movies. My all-time favorite is the latest one, To Die For. I cried so hard during that movie. I hear there are rumors of a follow-up?”

  I smile genuinely at her. This is always few and far between because no one knows who I am so I can protect my identity. Not just that but I worry that my family may suffer from hounding as well. So, I’ve always been strict about who knows who I am and who doesn’t. Xander is worth this. His happiness is worth this. My heart is screaming how right this is.

  “Thank you so much for your kind words. I’ll let you in on a little secret if we can do this?” I try to bargain with her.

  She looks around and leans forward. “I’ll do it. What’s the secret?”

  “I’m currently writing the second movie. It is another tear jerker so far, but the ending may surprise you.”

  It is true. I have been working on movie two. It’s been based on my experiences so far, and I truly believe in the happy ending my characters are headed for. They both deserve it.

  The nurse gives me his room number and lets me know that he was awake just a few minutes ago. Hurriedly, I usher my secret guest down the hall and to his room. First, I walk in and check to see that he’s awake.

  “Hi there,” I say quietly when I see he’s awake.

  “Who are you,” he forces out roughly.

  “My name is Angel Michaels and I…” he cuts me off as he attempts to smile, the left side drooping a little more than the right.

  “Angel Michaels, as in the woman that wrote, Disaster, like the best action flick ever!” There’s a little more excitement in his voice.

  Smiling down at him, I gently touch his hand. “That’s me. I didn’t think you’d know who I was.”

  Gene shifts in the bed and winces slightly. “Are you kidding me? I watch that movie all the time. I couldn’t believe a girl came up with it.” The visible parts of his face flush red. “No offense.”

  I pull a chair over and sit down. “None taken, hun. None taken.”

  “How’d you know I was here?”

  “Well, do you know a Mr. Harris?” When he nods, I continue. “He had written me a letter expressing the guilt he feels for not being able to save you from something. He didn’t go into much but that you had collapsed in his class and were in a pretty bad state. Then asked if I’d be willing to help motivate you to get better quicker.”

  Gene looks up at the ceiling. “Wow, he wrote you.”

  Standing from the seat I was in, I walk to the door. “He said you kind of closed off from everyone so I thought maybe I might need extra help. In the letter, it was mentioned that you loved a couple of my movies.” Opening the door, I usher in my surprise guest. “So I brought my wild card. I believe you know…”

  “Oh! My! God! It’s Terrance Hart,” he shrieks a lot higher than I thought a man could get.

  Terrance, Gene and I sit there and talk about everything. We all avoid the topic in which landed him in the hospital to begin with. Instead, we both let Gene lead the talk. He definitely didn’t fall short of things to say or ask. Terrance and I had brought some items and signed them for him, and then a tear slid down his cheek as his story came out.

  His mother had met a new guy. The new guy wasn’t too nice to her. Gene stood up for his mom, and the new boyfriend lets him have it. Then when mom did nothing to stop it, probably afraid of him herself, he continued to beat on him more and more. The day he collapsed in school he’d used a metal baseball bat on him because he caught Gene urging his mom to leave the guy.

  His story broke my heart. Far too often this was happening to kids of all ages. It needs to stop.

  “Have you seen your mom since you’ve been in here?”

  Closing his eyes, he breathes, “No.”

  Terrance lays a gentle hand on his shoulder and shares a secret about his past. That he too suffered abuse at the hand of his mother. She was hooked on drugs, and they became more important than him. She had turned him away when he was hungry just to get her next hit. Terrance told him that he learned exactly who he could trust by the way they looked and talked to him.

  By the look on Gene’s face, Terrance sharing that story with him hit him hard. Maybe it will help him to open a little more and see the life ahead of him is his own and he just needs to grab it. When we left the hospital, Terrance had given Gene his number. I place a small kiss on his cheek, and he blushes and says goodbye. As we reach the door, we hear Gene says, “Mr. Harris rocks.”

  A couple days have passed since I took a gamble and went and saw Gene. I still haven’t heard from Xander. I’ve been writing up a storm knowing exactly where I want this movie to go. The sudden ringing of my phone causes me to jump. Grabbing the intruding device, I answer without hesitation so I can get back to my story.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, are you busy?” Xander’s voice comes through the line.

  “No, not at all. Do you want me to come over?”

  “Yeah. I’ll see you in a little while.” He hangs up the phone without waiting for me to respond.

  My stomach is a ball of nerves as I hurry to my car and practically rush to his apartment in fear that something might have happened. Pulling into a guest spot, I run up the stairs and knock on the door. The door swings open and Xander stands there looking at me with a look I don’t have time to decipher before he’s pulling into the apartment and pushing me up against the door.

  In the next second, his mouth is on mine in a deep, rough kiss. The breath is knocked from my lungs, and I cling to Xander’s biceps to keep from falling to the floor in a heap. His tongue dances in almost perfect sync with mine. The silky, wet tango continues as he rubs against me showing me once again that I turn him on. He pushes into me just right causing me to moan into his mouth.

  Pulling away, he looks down at me with the most intense, heated look he’s ever given me. “I want to make love to you. I won’t push you but…” he trails off as he leaves little nibbles and kisses along my neck and jaw.

  Unable to think of anything else, I breathe the one word that would lead to something incredible. “Yes.”

  Xander jerks back and practically freezes in the spot. “Are you sure?”

  Smiling up at him, I nod my head and bring his mouth back down to mine. Slowly, he starts walking me back toward the bedroom. My coat is shed first. I undo the buttons on his shirt and pull it from his pants. Running my hands through the hair that is spattered all over his firm pecs. Trailing my fingers slowly down, they fall in each dip and crevice of his defined abs.

  Xander moves his hands under my t-shirt, yanking it up and over my head before our lips meet again in a frenzy of lust. Quickly, the rest of our clothes are left in a trail from the front door to beside his bed as the final articles fall. Lying down next to each other on the bed, we explore the other’s body. Xander is built like a man that spends time running. He has long, lean, lithe muscles.

  It has been so long since my body has been touched that I gasp sharply when his hands make contact with my breasts. Smiling against my mouth, he continues
to delve deep as his fingers twist and pinch with just enough pain to heighten the pleasure.

  Breaking from my mouth, he trails kisses across my jaw and down my neck before taking one of my nipples into his hot mouth. Flicking it with his tongue, I arch into him and tangle my hands into his hair, holding him there to give me all the pleasure that he can. After a moment longer, he moves to the other breast giving it the same treatment.

  “Oh,” I moan as his hand slides down to the apex of my thighs.

  My hips jerk up when his fingers graze over my throbbing nub. The sensations that surge through me have been long forgotten and unattended. Far too quickly for me, I’m clenching his hand between my thighs as I cry out as the orgasm spreads through me.

  “Holy shit,” he breathes. “That was sexy as hell.”

  Blushing, I pull him up to me and kiss him so he can’t look at me like that anymore. It seems to work and distracts him from looking at me with that smirk on his face, his eyes wide with joy.

  Leaning up, he reaches over and grabs a condom sliding it on. Settling between my legs, he looks into my eyes as he pushes into me. Closing my eyes, I moan at the foreign feeling. Well, it has become foreign to me after going so long without even taken care of myself. This feels damn good. When I feel his hips hit mine, we both moan.

  “Oh hell,” he groans.

  For a moment he just held himself inside of me. The weight of his body, the heat filling me, I sigh feeling content. As he slowly begins to move, my heart seems to almost fly out of my chest and into his hands. This man didn’t let me remain disconnected from the world. He saw something in me he liked, and he fought for me. Now, he owns me and for the first time in a long time, I’m not scared to give my heart away.

  His thrusts pick up, and for that moment, I lose control of time and space. Everything around me fades away aside from the feelings that Xander is pulling from me. Deeper he pushes inside, and my hips rock on their own accord to meet him and pull him even further in. Locking my ankles around his hips, I lift myself to just the right angle where he hits my swollen bundle of nerves with every single thrust.

  “Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh fuuuuuck!” He roars as he bangs into me with wild abandon.

  A slow burn begins in my belly and spreads like wildfire on a dry day before spreading out with a bang. I arch my body up into him and burrow my head further back into the pillows. My whole body shakes and pulses with my climax and milks Xander for everything he has as his own release follows right after mine.

  Collapsing down on top of me, I wrap my arms around him and stroke his back. After a few minutes, he rolls off of me and wraps me in his arms. Pressing kisses sleepily on my shoulder, I open my mouth to tell him that I love him when his words stop me cold.

  “I love you, Jenna,” he whispers.

  I say nothing, do nothing. My heart begins to splinter in my chest. Does he still love her or was it just a bit of confusion after feeling intense feelings he’s only ever had for one other person before, but now shares with two?

  His soft snores fill my ears soon after he single-handedly brings my world to an end. No matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise, he still has feelings for this Jenna person. As a tear slips down my cheek, I wait for Xander to be in a deep enough sleep to slip from his hold.

  He stirs as I slide out of bed. “Where are you going?”

  “To the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

  He cuddles back down before I even finish speaking and I sneak out into the living room and look for his phone. When I find it, I search his phone for the number I need. My heart aches in my chest when I see how he has her saved in his phone. My dream. I know it’s hers because the picture next to her is the same one he had on his dresser of the two of them until him and I started getting serious. Flipping through his phone, I look to see how mine is saved in there. Another tear falls down my cheek when I see my number is saved under Waverly bar beauty.

  Maybe he just saved it that way in the beginning and just never changed it, I try to reason with myself. Setting his phone down, I walk back to the bedroom. Standing in the doorway, I look at Xander sleeping. My heart still cares. My heart is stupid. Yet, my mind is on the same level as my heart. Because even though the first time he tells me he loves me… The first time we make love… It is all tainted from hearing her name fall from his lips instead of mine.

  Was he thinking about her when he was making love to me?

  “Oh, God,” I groan quietly.

  Sliding down the door frame, I pull my knees to my chest and bury my face in them as I silently cry while he sleeps in a blissful slumber. The rational part of me wants to leave, but the fucked up part of me that still loves him makes me stay.

  Before I realize it, the sun is coming up, and I don’t want him to see me breaking. So, I hurry to the shower. Quickly, I wet my face with the water and try to hide the tears that still fall and all evidence of my pain. A couple minutes pass before the shower curtain is pulled back and he steps in smiling with sleep still in his eyes.

  “Good morning, beautiful,” he says kissing my shoulders. “I thought I was dreaming until I saw the trail of our clothes and heard the water running.”

  “Sorry, I have an early meeting. I tried not to wake you.”

  “Mmmm,” he moans as he continues to kiss my shoulder and runs his hands up to my breast. “You didn’t wake me up, but you should have.”

  Oh, God, I’m a sick person, I think to myself as I let Xander make love to me again. But damn it, I do love him.

  Sitting on the floor in Xander’s arms as the water beat down on us, I can’t help but melt into him. With the decision firm in my head, I am going to enjoy the moment. He loves me. I’m almost sure of it. It was just a mistake that I don’t even think he realizes he even made.

  He chuckles. “I can get used to waking up like this. Though we got distracted from why I called you over.”

  “Oh?” I ask, still unable to meet his eyes.

  “I got a call from Gene the other day.”

  “Oh, the child that had collapsed in your class,” I ask, trying to sound innocent.

  Xander flicks my nipple and I yelp. “Funny, he described this Goddess – his word, not mine – that came to visit him because of a letter I wrote bringing the Terrance Hart. She introduced herself as Angel Michaels yet sounds exactly like the incredible beauty that sits between my legs.”

  My heart tightens in my chest at his making sure that I knew he wasn’t calling me a Goddess and then using the word ‘beauty.’ I’ll forget soon. I hope.

  “Look, Xander,” I say turning to face him.

  He leans down and kisses me softly and smiles. “Thank you. I know you said your work is private and I’ll keep it that way. But thank you for that. He wants away from his mom. The hospital is helping him along with Terrance who has stepped in to be a guardian for him until he graduates high school. He’s going to be okay all because of you.”

  A sudden sob escapes. My mind is a clusterfuck of an emotional mess. Xander tightens his arms around me holding me while I cry. The sad thing is that he has no idea that he’s the cause of so much of my tears. After today, after today, I’ll decide.

  “I knew how much he meant to you, so he meant that much to me,” I spoke through the shudders that still wrack my body.

  We stand, and shower and I dress in my clothes from yesterday. I place a sweet kiss on his lips by my car, but he pulls me closer to him and deepens it. When he pulls back, he rests his head against mine.

  “Stay the weekend with me?”

  Smiling at him, I touch his cheek tenderly. “Okay,” I say kissing his nose.

  The smile he gives me settles my heart a little. “Good luck with your meeting. I’ll see you after work.”

  After another long kiss, he walks to his car, and I watch him. Smiling at me, he climbs into his vehicle, and I climb into mine. Setting off to my house, I need to change clothes and think about what I should do. Last night, I had a plan, but now in the
light of day, I don’t know if it’s something I should just leave alone.

  “Shit!”

  Not wanting to talk myself out of it, I pick up my phone and dial her number.

  “Hello,” the unfamiliar voice fills my ear and my stomach drops to my feet.

  “Hello, I’m looking for Jenna, please.”

  “This is her. Who is this?” There sounds to be a hint of sadness in her voice.

  “My name is unimportant. You can call me the fool who loves the man that seems to still love you. I’m familiar with why you two are no longer together. You don’t love him. You can’t if you left him the way you did. Please let him go so I might be able to have the love meant for me, but he still holds for you.”

  “You are the woman he was just with this morning?”

  “Yes.” A tear slips from my eye because I can hear it all in her voice.

  “Is he happy?”

  Instead of denying what I feel I need to say. “Yes, aside from the cloud you left hanging over him. I believe we are happy.”

  In the silence that follows my answer, I can almost hear her nodding her head. After a few more seconds of silence, she finally asks, “What do you want from me?”

  “Let him go.” I breathe.

  “Okay,” she says just as quietly and then she hangs up.

  Collapsing down to my couch, my legs unable to hold me up any longer, I let the silent tears fall. It needed to be done. She needs to let him go. Xander and I have been together for two months now. She had her chance. She gave it up. It’s my turn now.

  Heading to my office, I begin to continue to write the plot for movie two. Closing my eyes, I sigh and give myself a little shake, clearing my mind. For every movie, I play music that fits what scene I’m writing. One song, on repeat until the scene is complete. It helps keep me in the scene. Flipping to my playlist Untitled Movie Two, I click down to I don’t want to let you go by Weezer. Listening to the first few lyrics with my eyes closed and my fingers resting on the keys, soon my fingers are flying across the keys at record speed. I let my brain get out whatever it wanted. I never read my work as I write. It interrupts the flow of the scene in my head. I will go back once finished and make sure that it all makes sense, but for now, I write.